urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:shibanay shibanay shibanay 2007-03-10T07:38:13Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:shibanay:630 2007-03-10T07:38:13Z 2007-03-10T07:38:13Z Hi, well I am new on here, and this is my first entry. I am sorry it is a negative one, but that is one of the reasons I joined. For you to help me with my grief. I was supposed to start my 2 day fast today when low and behold guess what happens? My friends want to go out to lunch. They start naming all these places that sound good, and all I can think about is how to tell them that I don't want to eat for the next 2 days. Well my first mistake was telling them the truth. When I told them I wanted to fast, they gathered around to talk to me like it was a fucking intervention. They said I need to eat and that was that. I ended up having part of a salad from chipotle and a coffee from starbucks. Now I am so disappointed with myself. I feel like I have lost control of my life, and what I want is total control. Why do my friends get to decide that I need to eat or not? Why did I listen. I hate myself for it. See what happens when you try to tell the truth? What a big fucking joke.